You can't motorboat a personality
new low: just stole a ciggarette from a bum sleeping on the side of the street.
ohh what kind?
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
I can't believe I'm coordinating a threesome at work. My productivity is at an all time low.
All I need to do is acquire a Shrek costume.
Please don't traumatize your girlfriend too terribly. Have fun.
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
Randomize
