It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
Fell off bed. Face first. 10 stitches. huge scar on forehead. totally going to start telling ppl my parents died fighting Voldemort.
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.
last nights episode of shot friends brought to you by polish vodka and flamingo baseball. pickles cure hangovers.
I awoke this morning to a naked boyfriend flying a remote controlled shark around his apartment. This is my life.
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
I mean I love some drunk compliments, but he just wasn't up to my low standards.
How did work go after you told them you were in jail?
Great they tried to bail me out.
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
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