ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
I'm covered in egg mcmuffin wrappers and my room smells like dead hooker.
please bring me a paper towel asap.
I was drinking wine in bed and spilt some on my chest.. And I cautiously guided it into my belly button but now I dont know what to do.
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
I spilled wine on my pillowcase and I figure it's basically my lifeblood so I'm just leaving it
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
I'm mainly pissed because I shaved fucking EVERYTHING for this. WITH SHAVING CREAM. Men do not appreciate how rarely that happens.
I'm gonna write a book entitled "when you give a cop a cookie..."
I don't even want to know.
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