I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
i just had to wipe vomit off my fone to text you. yeah that hungover.
I will never get the visual of you crying while chewing christmas lights out of my head
Out of ice. Vodka+club soda+cut up lime popscicle=I'm an alcoholic genius.
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
He bought me a oreo ice cream cake with "thanks for not calling the cops!" written in icing. If that doesn't sum up winter break, I don't know what does.
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
Nah. And this is true. It's like you were trained by sexual Jedi or something.
*jedi wave* this is the penis you were looking for
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
Why did you have to tell me he has a hammer cock? Now I can’t stop staring at his pants.
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