I called the bartender Mr. Intoxication last night. He thought it was funny until i threw up and blamed it on him
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
So I found where you barfed in my house. Just wanted to let you know that my cat barfed on the kitchen floor in a show of solidarity
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
My night ended with a French cab driver offering me his sperm free of cost.
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
Randomize