my mom just found my flavored lube in the basement. she gave me a lecture about how "giving head is degrading" omg i feel sooooo bad for my dad
Also, we should really buy some bandaids. Right now I'm using toilet paper and scotch tape, but I don't really think that's sanitary.
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
Randomize