Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
the bride spent most of the night apologizing to people she had punched earlier.
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
I'm pregnant.
The fact that this number is not in my contacts is giving me hope it's a wrong number???
I am one Jewel song away from suicide watch
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
Randomize
