He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
i was texting myself key events from last night so i could remember this morning. looked at my phone, texted my mother instead. our numbers differ by 1 digit
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
I had a dream last night that you and me were eating cheesecake and according to my FATHER I was moaning really loud in my sleep. I seriously have issues.
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
She started puking and I started running and I swear to god there was a wave of vomit chasing me down the stairs.
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
And my parents said I crawled through the house
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
he just used a semicolon in the middle of a sext
Her cat was breathing in my ear all night, like that kid from Hey Arnold.
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
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