Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
Fighting the police is like screwing a fat girl, if I'm drunk enough I'll do it
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
I would personally love to see the surveillance video of me throwing my stuff inside, peeing on the sidewalk, then crying hysterically when I realized I locked myself out. Again.
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
I told your dad we had a nice lunch and hung out for awhile. It seemed more appropriate than "I had a bite of his canned chili and then we ripped each others clothes off."
I've never heard "I will drown your mother in vanilla pudding" as an insult before, and then last night happened.
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
i just turned on my printer and found 10 pounds of german chocolate inside. i think i found where you hid your candy last night
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