He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
She offered to massage my back by hitting it with a sparkly purple double dildo... Bi chicks can get creepy
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
Did I hit my head yesterday? I have a bump on the back of it. Also I just want you to know that I don't blame you for me taking my bikini top off. If I want to be shirtless no man or woman on this earth can stop me.
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
I swear I was in Legend of Zelda Twilight Princess and American Ninja Warrior at the same time. I'm never getting high while rock climbing again.
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
Randomize
