Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
What would Jesus do? ... Jesus would slap a ho.
I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
I was trying to be really smart and save 10 dollars for each cab there and back. ...so I ripped a $20 dollar bill in half.
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
Nothing quite says Coachella like me doing high yoga in the middle of a field by myself
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
if you go to jail tonight, call call me. i wanna get out of work
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
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