Did you know that cab drivers don't take quarters for payment? They don't even like it when you ask.
After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
im in class. still drunk. wearing one sock. eating a breakfast sandwich and trying to make sure this bottle of whiskey doesnt fall out of my purse in front of my professor
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
it's like getting dryhumped by a chainsaw in the very best possible way
I was just doing the math on how much beer we need for the houseboat. in doing so, I came to the conclusion that we need to open a beer distributor business.
You can't just say you're dying of terminal cancer everytime they try to card you
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
Randomize
