we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
My mom just came into the kitchen and watched me take a double shot of whiskey and chase it with a beer and said "you are my son." Proudest family moment ever
NOT EVEN KIDDING RIGHT NOW. THE GUY IN THE SPIDERMAN COSTUME JUST FELL OFF THE ROOF INTO A BABY POOL. GET HERE NOW!!
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
He's listening to "my heart will go on" by himself in the living and its not even noon. MAKE IT STOP.
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
It's 5am and I have yet to fall asleep. At what point do we just accept that I run on vodka?
I think I'm so comfortable in my sexual relationship because he mostly wants to see me naked with large plates of bacon tastefully placed upon my body
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
no dude he sent me cemetery flowers, i know it. they are half dried out roses in the shape of a cross, seriously. and he is not religious. so he robbed a freaking grave site for me. am i like an accessory to grave robbing now??
damnit this is what you get for dating guys with neck tattoos
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