you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
Yeah. Rock bottom was him passing out and saying "are you putting a condom on me?" and me covering his mouth and saying shhhhh
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
You gotta have 1 orgasm for me and the rest can be for you. I'm living vicariously through you 😂
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
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