Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
when i told him i was pregnant with his baby he texted me 'congradulations'
i pity the fetus.
Everything was going good until she wanted to update her status...You forgot to close pterodactyl porn from this morning. Clothes went back on.
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
so i made out with some dude last night at the bar. and some girl just stood there and watched. i felt bad so i made out with her too. She looked like she felt left out.
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
Should I be concerned that the new guy I'm seeing just referred to my stealing a sailboat in college while drunk as "wholesome"?
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
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