How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
Dad's drunk, trying to hook me up with a 43yo, and keeps saying one and done. Mom is on the verge of tears and disowning us. You missed a good birthday dinner.
Just heard the girl at the bar cuss her bf out and order a long island ice tea. Going to give it 5 min then I'm going in. See you on the other side.
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
Happy Birthday. May your liver respect you, fat bitches neglect you, hangovers reject you, and AA accept you.
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
Drunk Sam makes promises that Sober Sam can't keep
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
Sorry for not calling you back. I got drunk and passed out on the kitchen floor. I just found my phone in the shower.
Randomize
