Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
chasing schnapps with beer is a terrible idea. never been drunk at 3PM before. please help please please please please
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
I just saw a fat chick ask the bartender to top her corona off with grenandine cuz she has a "sweet tooth" no that's diabetes fatty
No work today. I woke up and someone had written "Markhot Penis = Party" on my forehead in sharpie. Do you know a Mark?
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
Two chicks walked outta his room and all he did was beat his chest like LeBron and yell, "And 1!"
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program
I thought I needed to get laid. Turns out I just needed pasta.
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
Found someone cuddling with my Uggs this morning. Guess the hundred pillows laying next to him weren't good enough.
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
Randomize
