I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
After you verbally abused the McDonalds employee for not making your fries fast enough, the fact that you woke up on a random lawn does not surprise me.
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
Randomize
