I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
We're like adult pinky and the brain when they decided that taking over the world is unrealistic so they aim lower by trying to get drunk every day.
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
I'm done being drunk I wish I could snap my fingers and be sober
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
Randomize
