you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely.
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
A man bought two 40's from me, then asked if I had duct tape. How do people over 50 know about Edward 40hands? It was very weird.
Must've forgot to hang up with her when I was telling Josh I plan to pop champagne if I nail her tonight. She showed up with a bottle and said "only if we can toast it with Josh"
Where was Alyssa when you were sniffing the bouncer?
Passed out on some guy who looked like someone from Duck Dynasty.
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
Why were you naked on your bathroom floor?
It was a "get entirely naked to take a shit" kind of blackout I think.
Hey I'm at the gym and I need your personal trainer help. Also can you send me that picture of me eating a sausage. I want to post it on instgram.
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
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