It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
Its weird to pet your cat with a boner
What the fuck?
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
The shit show didn't end. it just relocated itself to my apartment instead of yours.
you also need to get my treadmill fixed.
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
I FEEL LIKE I CAN TAKE DOWN A FULLY GROWN MOUNTAIN LION WITH ONLY A POINTY STICK OH MY GOD
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
She took a six hour road trip with me so I could have revenge sex with my ex's brother. That is the definition of a best friend.
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
Also, I'm not that drunk, but I'm thinking of pulling the blinds all the way up and casting some porn up onto the living room TV to establish dominance over our neighbors.
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
Randomize
