I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
shouldve known this week was gonna be bad when I threw up in my coffee mug
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
I've been at work 30 min broke a paper towel holder a chair set a box on fire and fell down twice. Hungover Brian just reached a new level
I am one Jewel song away from suicide watch
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
I fell asleep after the worst sex of my life and now I'm snowed in with him. SEND HELP. CALL FEMA. GET ME OUT OF HERE.
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
I'm pretty sure the rest of my evening will consist of masturbating, drinking tequila and watching children's movies.
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
He is farting the alphabet right now. In the goddamned restaurant. You don't get to recommend men anymore. Or restaurants for that matter.
Randomize
