I need to shower the guilt off of my thighs.
So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
We thought she was passed out on the toilet, but she raised her head to tell me the word I couldn't remember was "empathize." Then she puked blood and passed out.
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
I feel like if Miami and New Jersey fucked each other and produced a baby that would summarize the bar I'm in.
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
He wore nothing but a Speedo and a tie to the party. It was great. Everyone was looking at him like "this kid's the best"
You know you're a fat kid when you've spent half the day having a twitter conversation with Pizza Hut.
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
No I don't want to see you. You're the reason that I'm going to need a new liver by the time I'm 30.
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
Randomize