That blackeyed peas song was on, so I thought that was prediciting tonight was going to be a good night. And then my garage door opner fell and hit me in the head.
I literally just copy and pasted that from another bbm convo bc I'm far too stoned to explain that again.
All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
I am the only person I know ever to have been brought TO the bar in the back of a cop a car. Twice.
Cleaned the whole house at 7:30 and after cleaning the bathroom I think I had cocaine on my sweatpants
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
I just used my sisters cheerleading plaque and a children's book to crush up painkillers to snort. Happy Friday
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
You are a genius and a whore.
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
I was so drunk, he put me to bed and went down stairs to hang out with his friends. Apparently, I was curled up in the closet, spooning the dresser when he came back up.
Fine I’ll come with you but you better tell that guy to wear some longer shorts because the second I see a rogue nut I’m gone
Randomize
