it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
Tonight was fucked up. First my mom called me and told me I had to go to the bar to pick up my dad 'cause he was drunk. Then when I got there my dad was doing a body shot from this lady who happened to be my 1st grade teacher. By far the most awkward car ride home. Idk if I should tell my mom or not.
So you know how craigslist used to have an "erotica" section? And how after you click on a link it changes a darker color? And how Dad stays up really late most nights?
Oh god... well at least he's gettin some. Mom's a prude.
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
I woke up in a chipotle parking lot with an industrial sized box of condoms and a bag of dounut holes. I need Jesus
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
I just had a dream that I was fighting Donald Trump... Gotta stop watching the news before bed
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
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