Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
Thanks for FaceTime'ing with that ugly chick last night while me and her friend were in the other room. it's good to know I can still count on my wingman even when we're 2000 miles apart
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
You drunkenly told one of the campus security guards that you liked his headset. In return he introduced himself, lit your cig, and told us that if anyone was giving us shit to call and ask for him... Best campus security ever.
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
Randomize
