We had to use the stains on Phil's shirt to try to piece together what happened last night.
It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
I found my phone outside under the leaves by the curb. What the fuck did I do last night
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
Pretty sure I picked a cat up off the street and took him home with me, fed him tuna, then let him go
I can't tell if the dead thing in the yard is a deer or the guy I slept with last night...
he started frosting cupcakes and licking the mini-spatula realllllly deliberately and i don't know if i'm more attracted to him or the cupcakes
If people had ratings on Tinder I'd give you 5 out of 5 stars.
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
I think you know you’ve caught feelings when you’re asking a tinder boy his opinion about your current fuck buddy.
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
Randomize
