I woke up on my floor...
I woke up with colors of the wind playing on repeat on my laptop...
Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
It is 8 o'clock in the morning and there is already blood all over one of the stalls in the bathroom. What has your St. Patrick's day done for you?
you left your shoes but remembered to take your vodka. i see where your priorities are.
Holy shit. Do you realize what this means? Officially all of my ex-bfs are either dead or gay
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
If I had to summarise my weekend I would do so using the words "horrifying romanian moonshine"
I mean you guys are my friends and all but if you fuck with me I will not hesitate to set you on fire
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
Randomize
