i think i have reached a jessica simpson level of regret
tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
I made her dinner: Beefaroni with grated parmesan cheese on top. Luckily she showed up drunk and gave me head, "For spending so much time preparing."
The only thing i was looking forward to on 4th of july was the google logo and they let me down. That and beer, lots and lots of beer
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
What kind of gift says "I'm sorry you accidentally stuck your hands in my puke (even though you should know better by now)"?
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
I have to hand it to her. In my heyday I took home the 'biggest shitshow of the night' award 9 times out of 10. But I passed the torch on to her last night, and she went skipping merrily far and away with it into the enchanted world of aggressive alcoholism. Is this 30?
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
Randomize
