SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
I had to sleep with my math professor to pass algebra. Apparently my blowjobs are only C+ quality
This lady in my dui class just asked what patron was. I feel like she doesn't belong here
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
My vibrator looks like a lipstick tube. So does my mace. I just realized the potential problems of keeping them both in the same bag.
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
I keep finding granola in my bed. This is what I get for sleeping with a guy from Oregon.
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
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