Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
He gave me his business card. It was a Justin Bieber trading card with his number written in sharpie. I have to call him don't I?
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
Just delivered a pizza to a holiday inn and a delivery driver from Me n Ed's walked up at the same time, we both were going to the same floor so we stood in the elevator making small talk about delivery stuff, but a small part of me wanted to deck him, stand over him and shout,"FOR THE HUT MOTHERFUCKER, FOR THE HUT!"
Jesus christ, don't start a pizza delivery gang war.
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
When we were all out of beer you took a bite out of the cardboard beer box and said "close enough."
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
Randomize
