Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
Tostitos scoops are the best shotglasses ever. Eat it after as a chaser.
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
We're in ER. He's high on morphine and I'm drunk. Gonna score some bed pans for jello shots.
Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
The chick who threw the party was all pissed cause she thought I made out with her boyfriend. Admittedly, I did, but she was throwing up and crying at the time so she really can't be that mad.
In the middle of our bar crawl last night we stopped to pet dogs at a dog park. who would let a drunk person bet play with their dog???
Again. I'm very sorry I tried to poke your eye out. You've been aware of my inability to aim since day one.
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
This ice cream is 10x better than the sex I had yesterday
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
Randomize
