your parents love me but you hate me
Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
Shaun got a portable breathalyzer for christmas so now we can tell who the biggest pussy is at the end of the night.
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
Dude, you left ME alone in your house. With your fully-stocked wine cellar. Why would you do that to yourself?
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
I just think that exercising will really get in the way of my painkiller induced nap time rituals. There's gotta be a better way.
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
Um, just removed my insulin from the fridge so that I could fit our case in there. Tell me, who has their priorities straight? THIS GIRL.
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
It was funny for a while but 3 days later I still can't walk and I've constructed a diaper-like contraption to hold the ice pack on my vagina.
Randomize
