I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
I hope you have a really shitty weekend. I love you.
I wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commercials.
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
The amount of my urine my roommate has consumed after I found out he's been eating my food almost offsets how angry I am
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
We were walking up the stairs and I asked Dominick what floor the party was on. The cop who had just tried breaking it up was walking down the stairs, drinking a slurpee, and answered, "Third floor."
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
Randomize
