I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
Ok seriously I'm living off of bologna but I have 4 handles in the freezer.
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
I've never seen a homeless man jog to get off the bus and then run to his panhandling spot because he's "late for work," but you see something new every day.
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
It's pretty telling that my resolutions all involve who I will sleep with in 2014.
It's important to play to your strengths.
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
Some days, I wish I could get a hug from a furry muppet
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