guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
She got subburned last week and her bikini ties in the middle...when I took off her shirt, there was a sunburned bow between her boobs. Like a present. Happy birthday to me!
you woke me up in the middle of the night to tell me you were taking off your pants and it was not an invitation.
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
Just found an unopened tied g of coke on the floor in her room... she thinks the maintenance guy dropped it earlier today. This takes the cake for sketchiest apartment.
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
You know what I realized today? That my biggest regret of freshman year was ditching you and that foam party to have a one night stand with a skinny jean wearing vocal major.
I am concerned for your priorities but also really flattered. Flattery wins
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
You're not talking any sense into me. You're cheering me on to disaster.
... is that not half the reason I'm your best friend in the first place?
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
why did i wake up in the bathroom?
we had to stay with you a while until we convinced you it wasn't safe to wash your face, then you fell asleep with your foot in the toilet.
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