i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
Gonna post on craigs list missed connections - "I was that really drunk bitch that threw up in your car. I'd like to pay for detailing"
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
I cant help but love a girl who informs me of the pregnancy test results by emailing me a YouTube clip of Barney Stinsons not a fathers day speech.
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
You fucked her?! HER?!
She sent me a nudie pic with a bunch of weed nuggets all over her tits...what was I supposed to do? I don't hate America sir.
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
You said you brought chipotle into a movie and I asked you to marry me and you said yes
I'm going to write a new song and call it "Did I wax my vagina for this?" remind me to never go across the country for a penis ever again.
The groom's brother was an accomplishment. Then I remembered he was also the officiant. Check and check.
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
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