Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
He really likes Obama...and Bill Clinton too. He said "I mean, how many presidents can say that they got head in the oval office?"
Soulmates.
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
porn star boner night. come get it.
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
She said she couldn't sleep with a guy who had blood stains on his ceiling. I tried to explain it wasn't my blood, but she still left :(
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
I just put Gatorade in my wine, cause electrolytes, you know.
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
The last person that asked me out got pushed down an escalator
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
Randomize
