Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
cannot fit in my clothes. too depressed to drink.
if you drink enough to puke, it's like a weight loss plan.
What a tease, dude. She's giving me emotional blue balls.
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
We're lucky we aren't prostitutes by now. Whats the etiquette for returning a pair of heels with blood on them?
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
Can I trade you chipotle for a pregnancy test?
No he doesn’t answer my texts except for like on New Year’s Because like I was fucked up on New Year’s and he said happy new year and I told him the same and I called him dragonslayer and you can’t really recover from that
My ovaries melted while we were talking. I almost told him I would suck his soul out through his dick
That would be a memorable parent teacher conference for sure
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