Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
I just woke up wearing retainers... they are most definitely not mine
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
I put ketchup in a girls hair last night. I need a sorry balloon
Nothing says I'm committed to you for all eternity like letting him wear crocs to the wedding
If you're into enormous nipples, you should ask out my office's receptionist.
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
I want you to know. From the bottom of my heart, that you are a great friend, a beautiful person, and one of my favorite people in this world. But if you ever send me that many messages again at 4am I swear to God, I will push you in from of a fast running rhino
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
Randomize
