but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
Recording ancient aliens and the third Reich. Stoned you will thank me later.
You called me at 2am singing 'happy birthday' while screaming 'I fucking love you' verses, all while eating a burrito and taking a piss off your apartment balcony
Yeah I know, the people below me already told me
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
All I have done at work today is eat and try to get my coworker to tie me to his bed again
Figured out how to triple bathroom speed at #lollapalooza.. Girl squats, guy 1 goes between her, guy 2 uses urinal. Your welcome.
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
I hooked up with a sophomore, passed out at midnight, and apparently drunkenly peed on Nicole's wedding invitation
Randomize
