Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
Do you still have your period?
She left me with blue balls so I jerked off on her french toast in the morning.
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
I just put on lipstick to sext him. That should tell you where my love life is at.
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
She keeps comparing me to her favorite dildo and I don’t know if I’m flattered or creeped out
What did you spend the night in her closet?
She said she was saving me for breakfast and locked me in there
Randomize