come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
At one point last night while tipping the bartender you looked at him and said "If I need money later, I'm taking this back"
Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
I woke up on a futon in some strangers house. They were eating pizza and told me everything was going to be fine.
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
My nephew just told me I smell like apathy and regret. Thats the hangover I'm dealing with
It's a sad day when you can't take off your pants and drink a margarita at work.
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
Good news y'all just straight up snorted 2 adderall and I'm not a real being on this plane of existence anymore and I'm ready for finals
Randomize
