I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
Im about to embark on a date with someone who shit in my car. How did this become my life?
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
Well, that now makes it the 4th girlfriend in a row to cheat on me. I don't even care anymore...I'll date a prostitute and not even worry.
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
We knew it was an interesting night when we found my thong wrapped around a chocolate chip muffin in the fridge.
I've seen you go skiing on a Tuesday, but you think you're too good for TGI Friday's?
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
This is a crisis. I had a huge crush on him in seventh grade and now his girlfriend is due to have his child on my birthday. HIS CHILD CAN'T BE BORN ON MY BIRTHDAY.
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
Randomize