Moving to Utah. Got sick of alcohol and have a severe wife shortage.
smell my finger.
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
I WOKE UP IN A FUCKING DOG BED HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL
In other news: I massively over-caffeinated this morning. Everything is vibrating and I can SEE THROUGH TIME
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
I woke up in a front yard I didn't recognize to a grandma tapping me with her foot. What was in that punch?
he woke up this morning, drunk as fuck, butt ass naked, and he had left grandmas gun on the counter and doesn't know why.
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
YOU'D BE LIKE A MERMAID! I'll bring you coffee filters to cover your tits.
Randomize
