David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
Just had a nice conversation with my landlord while cleaning your puke off my car
I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.
Currently cooking 3lbs of bacon in case the power goes out bc if even one slice of bacon goes to waste then sandy wins
Fun fact. I am at the police dept. getting served a warrant for unpaid ordinance... and the officer was a one night stand from like 10 years ago.
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
Right in the middle of our simultaneous orgasms, he shouted "HAPPY NEW YEAR" ruining the intimacy
idk how many shots you took between 2:39 and 3:05, but your message went from "Please text me tomorrow." to "Why you sto textom?"
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
The cat hopped on my bed and watched me masturbate naked with a vibrator. I've never felt more sorry in my entire life
Randomize