just woke up and my boobs have "fun police" written on them
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
The used rubbers I threw behind her bed all semester must have landed on the baseboard heater. They went up in smoke when she turned on the heat last night.
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
Last time i carry you out of a forest
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
Status: mom bitching about grandma not shutting the fuck up, while not shutting the fuck up. Dear Jesus give me strength or more bourbon.
What the fuck happened last night.... I woke up with a bowl half full of ravioli next to my head, reversed on my bed still fully clothed.....
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
Randomize
