I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
Ur keys r in ur purse. ur purse is on the couch. ur cigs r on ur front seat. u drank all ur wine. mollie took ur jkt bc u cockblocked her. and in case anyone asks, the saints won 31-17.
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
Seeing Grandma lick chocolate sauce off of the male stripper was definitely not the way I planned to enter the world of legal drinking.
Yes I did. Thanks. I was actually an hour and half early. I'm better at public transport than I thought. Guy behind me on the bus is also crying. We compared cry-snot. It was nice in a weird sad way.
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
You were supposed to be my wingman and all you kept to her friend was "kill it with fire"..
The fake number she gave me was for Pappa John's. Now I have a large pepperoni on the way.
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
Got upgraded to First Class and now I’ve got the whole Pacific Ocean to seduce the very hot gentleman sitting next to me!!! Door closing, wish me luck!
Yes, the maid of honor did just deep throat the mic during the toast. How do I follow that?
Randomize
