Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
i know they say sex burns calories but i think i actually gained weight from just lying there for the whole 2 minutes
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible.
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
Alright, deal. Settling two drug deals before noon is what I call a productive day. I'm not even gonna go to math, I've practiced enough numbers for the day.
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
We had sex on a dog bed..
every time someone would wish me happy birthday I would be like "thanks happy birthday to you too"
He serenaded me a cappella to Ed Sheeran. I wasn't going to leave his dick unsucked.
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