we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
i just made my mom cry by blowing spit bubbles.
You're earring is so big in my mouth
I woke up with a crunchy, pink Pepto streak through my hair, no recollection of the last 6 hours of my night and the feeling that all the hotel's staff knew me on a first name basis.
he just tried to convince me that tylenol is a gateway drug
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
The selfie stick gets 5 stars bc it really added a fun element to my sex tape
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
If he didn’t pick us up we would have been jerkwards eating sad pancakes at a Denny’s.
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