She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
She brought an overnight bag to my party. Might as well have shown up wearing only a thong and a bottle of whip cream in her hand.
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
Let's paint friendship bongs
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
you owe me at least a beer for the services my girlfriend just provided for you
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
I need to calm my uterus...
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
Randomize
