He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
fat chick, vomit on the dog, and three unidentifiable pills in my ear. all in the same ear. what the hell happened after the guests showed up?
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
I just used my AAA membership to fix a strippers flat tire in return for a lapdance...does that make me a bad person?
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
Leaving my wallet at work and not going out to drink tonight...SIGN FROM THE UNIVERSE.
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
I had the hottest doctor assess me at the hospital. He smelled like heaven and sex.
I'm six Popsicles away from an existential breakdown.
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
Dude come over...were drunk and I'm holding a T-shirt gun and discovered beer cans are the same size as rolled shirts.
Randomize
