Ambien. No doubt about it.
Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
Just ran into my ex in the WOMENS bathroom. He said I did this to him. Swore he never wore my clothes but said he liked my skirt. I need vodka.
my facebook is like a giant collection of my one night stands
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
Rent Disney Oceans. Smoke a bowl. Fast forward to the seal section. Then call me.
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
I just fell and sprained my ankle in the shower. No, I wasn't having sex. I was doing the time warp. Again.
as a side note pls kill me
highlight of my day: hitchhiking a ride with random locals. tried to make conversation, asked what they do. driver says "you clearly don't recognize me." turns out i have had sex with him and forgot.
You are officially qualified to graduate from college.
There is a baby in my apartment. What the fuck happened last night?
Randomize
