Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
Tried to buy Xanax from my boss last night. Wrong Mike.
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
I have just two goals for this NYE. 1) get so drunk that every guy looks like Clive Owen 2) make out with as many Clive's as possible.
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
Come over. Drunk tacos.
That isn't even a sentence.
I kept the important parts.
I've just never had a dinner guest strut in, go directly to my bathroom, vomit.. then come out demanding whiskey and food.
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
Hey do u remember the time we used my mascara wand as a drink stirer?
Randomize
