then he goes, "ok, i have to go talk to the girl i'm semi-talking to/dating and see if i'm in trouble" WHAT IS MY LIFE?!
Are you drinking alone?
no, i'm watching house
That doesn't count.
wtf, then i'm always alone
Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
I am not kidding you. There is an airport luggage cart overturned in my driveway. We need to stop going to the airport bar.
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
Another day, another engagement, another cat
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
dying me prepared for dead me... i woke up with my laptop open to the last snl episode, a bottle of gatorade, advil and a bag of chocolate all next to me
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
Randomize
