He told me he had more lines than a plaid shirt
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
17 year olds will be the death of me.
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
First drunken handjob: not successful. Second handjob, mostly sober: much better. Nightly news brought to you by me.
It wasn't the stripper that gave you the hickey but I just figured out who did
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
Can we please get on skype for like 20 seconds so i can show you my penis and the spiderman temporary tattoo that is right above it
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
I'M WORRY THAT MY VAGINA WILL NEVER KNOW THE TOUCH OF A MAN AND YOU ARE MAKING A MIXTAPE
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
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