no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
It feels like I shit a light bulb that shattered on the way out.
i just discovered how you can fold down the cardboard sleeve on a hot pocket. Life just got a whole lot easier.
beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
I'm cuddling with a baby pig and drinking champagne right now.
Last night I dreamt that I sold my car and used the money to have wheels surgically implanted in my feet and legs so I became a human heely and I just rolled everywhere
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
Stole my 7th stop sign and 3rd speed limit sign last night. Not even sure how because they were bolted to a cement wall. Tequila gives you strength you didn't know you had.
You wanna know what I want to eat? Questionable Mexican food before I go drink. Makes for excitement. Will I puke it up or shit my pants
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