rhymes with "ouble enetration"
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk.
I just need to go to a bar tonight wrapped in an American flag singing the national anthem
Got home last night and found a Big Mac in the shower, tampons all over the place, and two pairs of your panties on the front porch.
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
you were holding her above your head singing Circle of Life in what i assume was a Simba reference. then she smacked her head on a bar light and the bouncers kicked you out
To me, you're the Patron Saint of good music and handjobs
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
The strippers who live across the street set up a decently professional stage on their front balcony and a banner for a go fund me... I think we're gonna get a show.
that blonde bartender and I racked up an impressive mini bar bill last night
Mini bar? Did you get a hotel room?
Yeah, the last thing I need right now is a chick with an insane clown posse tattoo knowing where I live
That’s legit
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