It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
so you had a one ended conversation with the toilet las night in between barfs. you kept telling the toilet how strong it was because its gone through a lot of shit in its life.
drunk me is so punny.
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
you stumbled up the stairs in your heels, pulled 23 one-dollar bills out of your bra and then went and puked in the toilet. didnt say a single thing to me the whole time
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
I've had more lap dances than hrs of sleep since Thursday, this is why you're planning all three of my bachelor parties
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
I learned a valuable lesson about combining day drinking with malt liquor: you may think you have super powers, but that's just the Steel Reserve talking.
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
Puked up breakfast after doing my first minze shot in a while, but that shot was to Trump losing the election, so it's all good.
Randomize
