I feel like I've been hit by a train. I woke up this morning covered in wine, free condoms, and a sign language dictionary.
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
I'm definitely going to class still drunk right now and the freshman dressed as Hugh Heffner last night is texting me. I can't handle this.
And literally 4loko margaritas are callin my name. They're like "Hey girl come on over here I'll make you forget about grades and boys and it'll be a good idea to send everyone 55 snapchats of your cleavage" ok
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
Like tbh you're not doing anything that screams I'm drunk and yet nothing says I'm going to spend $30 on McDonalds and make out with a stranger like that picture
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
Slept with a member of the band last night, found out today after extensive stalking he’s engaged. Pro tip: don’t research one night stands.
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
It's all fun and games until your mom recognizes your bootycall from 2018 as her attorney
Randomize
