Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
I mixed the ketchup wit the mustard in one bottle to save time making hotdogs
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
My wife googled 'purchase vibrator.' Not sure if I should be excited or offended.
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
What is the protocol for an "i'm sorry I had my ex retrieve me from the bar so I didn't drive drunk" blow job
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
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