she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
I wish sober me loved running as much as drunk me...
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
You should've come out last night, I need someone to explain why the bartender tried to strangle me...
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
I had to smuggle a street sign attached to a 14ft long pole out of my house this morning. The list of reasons for me not to drink just keeps getting longer.
Dude what the fuck...
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
Oh. My. God. You texted my mom "IM BACK BITCHES!"
You don't understand. On her lunch break she sits on the roof, stares into the sky, and chain smokes. I can't get on her level. She is made up of java monsters with whiskey and a voice that sounds like sex.
You need to stop crushing on your boss or fuck her.
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked
Secrets from the porn industry: liTERALLY SHOVE A SEA SPONGE UP YOUR VAGINA GO ON DO IT
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
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