Im bringing wine tonight. Its from a merlot from nashville. i bet it'll taste like infidelity and teenage pregnancy.
Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
You need Jesus. Or a midol and a snickers. Whichever.
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
How bad is the voicemail?
You graded my boobs.... C minus. Asshole.
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
Randomize
