Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
all nice guys are gay and all hot ones are assholes
You're fat. Stop making excuses
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
I just had a flashback of 4:30am: me hugging the toilet bowl and you handing me a jar of pickles to open. There is something seriously wrong with us.
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
i had a super strange, mommy/daddy issuestastic, mildly freudian, i-might-as-well-become-a-stripper-now-and-stop-fighting-the-inevitable dream last night :(
the shoes thing blows my mind idk how the fuck i did that and im also missing 4 of my birth control pills like did i drunkenly decide to overload my body with estrogen
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
They left me at home... I'm a liability
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