No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
I'm slightly possesive over the gucamole when i'm stoned.
Is that why you left peanut shells in my bed?
my revenge plans when i'm high are never as good as i think they are
Call me when you get up. This hang-over is like dismantling a bomb: I need someone to talk me through it.
When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers.
Found half of a five day old piece of pizza behind my dresser. Apparently it was drunkenly set there and got knocked down. It was such a happy reminder of last weekend.
I found a cheeseburger next to my tub once. It's there to shame you, but it always just makes me feel more awesome.
I just had a contest with the toilet to see who could hold their breath longest.
I won
Got super judged by this lady at the Rolling Stones concert last night. Bitch don't look so salty at my dad and I splitting two joints, an edible, and two margaritas. It's the stones.
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
So I got a text from him saying "jacking off...thinking of you" I think I'm going to get a restraining order
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