so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
We're stealing the mannequin. He's my new swimming partner.
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
Got robbed by an ATM. My weekend officially sucks.
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
I've never seen anyone as high as you were.. you collapsed onto the kitchen floor hugging a tub of ice cream. You named it phil.
that blonde bartender and I racked up an impressive mini bar bill last night
Mini bar? Did you get a hotel room?
Yeah, the last thing I need right now is a chick with an insane clown posse tattoo knowing where I live
That’s legit
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