Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
I would rather wake up to a truck driver than wake up to her
I was giving him a blow job in the kitchen, but it was uncomfortable. so i took the oven mitts and used them as knee pads.
Don't tell me i'm not fucking resourceful.
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
Oh and I ate all of your Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Consider it part of your reparation payment for accidental anal insertion. I may continue to collect payments until I am no longer sore.
FYI you are now my emergency contact at plan parenthood
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
Randomize
