16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
To the person who left a cup of vomit in the bathroom: I commend you for your aim but you are dead to me- not an ideal birthday present.
Pretty sure the nurse said at one point I was in full restraints because I tried surfing my stretcher
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
Side Note: Everyone in my office is getting engaged and having baby showers. And I'm all like, fuck your joy, I just want more string cheese in my life.
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
Dude. Don't do acid and go to Disney on ice. Hear my warnings. That snow monster will fuck your shit up.
So I was at my annual OBGYN appointment and when she saw the bruises on the inside of my thigh she asked if I had been horse back riding...I think my burst of laughter then awkward silence answered the question for me.
Randomize
