I just Organized my jello shots by their colors in my mini fridge for the rest of the week. I'm going places in life.
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
Why is there a chicken nugget nailed to my front door?
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
I emailed the police apartment to apologize to the officer from last night. I practically threw a hissy fit because he wouldn't hug me.
It was "against protocol"
Gay?
German.
Pity.
Happy hour crawl turned into power happy hour turned into tequila shots turned into I'm drunk in class on Cinco de Mayo at 7 am.
I was just informed that I asked for a glass of wine at the police station
I'm sure it would have gone very well with the cigarette you lit there.
we're gonna read the declaration of independence and do a shot for every word he doesn't understand.
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
Randomize
