We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
We got security called on us. Apparently the wedding down the street didn't appreciate the trespassing or our loud as fuck rendition of We Are Young.
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
You fucked two dudes in the same night and still went home to your cats. How does that happen?
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
valentines day is a day for loved ones to share. So me and my vibrator. Happy holidays.
yeah i wanted to show him what i was missing, so i decided to send him a seductive picture, like the ones where the girls are eating strawberries and whipped cream. well i didn't have those, so i sent him a picture of myself naked eating a bagel
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
Randomize
