I'm going to use my one free fuck up card tonight.
What'd you do?
Its more like what im about to do.
Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
You know how most people would take your keys when they don't want you to leave a party? Those 2 girls aren't most people. They took my pants instead.
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
i need to stop meeting underage girls and letting them into the bar. i mean yea its a surefire way to get laid without having to tell them I'm 26 but i feel like as a bouncer I'm focusing on all the wrong things
That moment when you're in a room with 3 guys and know how big their dicks are. Then you are married to the one with the smallest dick.
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
In between explaining the best feminist lenses for the myth of Persephone and doing vodka shots with my friends she dragged me into my car and gave me an Earth shattering blow job. Honestly I think I'm in love.
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
You stocked up?
No actually didn’t get a chance. If you wouldn’t mind bringing me a brownie and a bottle of Jameson that’d be nice
Randomize
