Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
i'm sitting in the pool eating chicken pot pie with my little brother's friend. moments like these are the reason i love weed.
I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
Why do the people I hook up with still exist after we're done?
How are ur friends?
One is peeing in the grass and the other is asleep under the stairs. Fuck them I'm sleeping in the car
I'm pretty sure there a million tiny ninjas in my uterus poking me with sticks.
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
How are you feeling today?
Like Satan handed me a grenade and ass sandwich.
Remember when we thought adulthood would be different than college?
It is different. We had hopes and dreams back then. Now we're just alcoholics.
Randomize
